I recently saw the RSC’s “A Museum in Baghdad”, and I came out considering the role theatre plays in modern Britain.
As we sat down in the intimate theatre, seats only metres away from the stage, the first of the characters moved out onto the stage. Sitting at a small desk she proceeded to diligently scribble away, until a few minutes later the lights dimmed and the audience settled into silence.
Having attended Quaker Meetings for Worship for the past three months, silence has taken on a new significance for me: I take note of it, I feel somehow that in my silence, I become actively a part of one whole, rather than passively ceasing to speak. The silence gave way to a stillness, and the body becomes the container of the seeing eyes, separate from the part of the self that watches. The physical sharing of a space with actors allows them to consume the energy of movement, it is physical and real to them, and in order for it to be the same for you, there is a sense that one must remain static, a ghost in the audience, barely there in space.
The separation of the audience and the actor intrigues: The figure on the stage, when writing and occasionally looking towards the audience without ever looking at them, seemed haunting and distant when there remained a bustle of spirit and sound amongst the audience. As the stillness descended, the roles reversed: she came alive. We share the space, the actors walk onto the stage along the path we took to our passive seats, but the ownership of the air, the set laid submissively at the feet of the suddenly alive figures we watched.
The moment though that I feel now will remain with me long after I forget the actions and the meaning and the words of the play happened just as the second act began. I was sat further along the row than I had been during the first half, and was nearer the front than the side of the stage. I watched as the first figure, who had been at first writing, was walking along the stage. I can’t, perhaps shamefully, recall the words she spoke, or even what she spoke of, but as she began to speak, her eyes walked across the audience, and then suddenly, in a way that shocked me, she stared straight at me. I couldn’t move. In the way that I sometimes find myself still. Stopped. Weighed down at a meeting for worship, I couldn’t let my eyes move or close or do anything but stare. I held her gaze, or rather she held mine for a moment – it seemed for long seconds, though of course, in the incredibly cliched truth it was most likely an instant only – and when she moved away I fell into a form of glazed-over shock, thrilled by what had happened, though it was barely even a ‘happening’, and was at once so intensely present, and so vaguely, absently still. We may watch a show though a screen, and some illusion of eye contact is made between the flat figure and the flattened viewer, but this was different, it was intensely personal, intimate, I did not know who it was I looked at – for we always now question the person behind the imitated figure – and to me the two, the real and the illusion became one, I accepted the impossible falsity of it and yet did not have to sacrifice the real, they came together into one, solid, illusionary, floating moment. I stared back, half out of not being able to do any differently, and half as a challenge, the response was one that I felt shared the same intent (even though it rationally probably did not), and then breezed onwards, left me dismissed, overwhelmed, empty, but ever so kindly.
I was forced to confront, to stare, and that is what theatre is, it pleads to us: watch, look, take in. We direct our own gaze, we are allowed to look at it all, at one moment, at one angle, at one brick, on anything, no two can ever have the same experience, it will always be infinitesimally, or perhaps inconceivably, unique. We cannot conform, and though the silence and stillness and passive distant may be British, we are forced to confront and approach the scene in front of us ourselves: we have to face our own irrelevancy and embrace a story, to follow it happening in front of us in a physical way that we only ever otherwise experience events through when they are real, and a part of our own experience and world. We become abstract, cannot be categorised, cannot be solid or understandable in a way the British desire, the binary falls apart in the duality of roles, audience and actor never completely separate, presently existing but not moving forwards in any demonstrable way. Whilst sat in the theatre we are simultaneously engulfed in the scene (as we never are with film or literature) through our physical presence, and never allowed to alter: the play is still and continuing on the following night as it did regardless of your presence.
As the play ended and the actors bowed, I tried for the final time to steal the eyes that had hovered one moment towards mine, but I did not (quite obviously, for this experience, though for me the epitome of the play, meant nothing to anyone else at all) and I am glad of it. The bowing marks something gone: the faces the same, the costumes unchanged, and yet the stage is stripped of the bodies that it possessed moments ago. The illusion had gone, and the audience aware of their voyeuristic watching of the play applauded the weakening figures for their deception, blinking their eyes back to perceive the world’s truth once again.
